


The One Where Simon Makes Jace Blush

by Cor321



Series: Malec Discord Advent Calendar 2020 [7]
Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Advent Calendar Day 7-Bells, Alternate Universe - Human, Crack Fic, He does not expect to be flustered., Jace goes in to get Alec a gag gift, M/M, Malec Discord Server, Sex Shop Owner Simon, Simon is ridiculously suave in this, Simon's Sex Emporeum, this is most definitely crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:20:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cor321/pseuds/Cor321
Summary: Simon was engrossed in the most recent issue of the Deadpool comics when the bells above the door alerted to a customer coming through the door.Without looking up from his comic Simon said his normal spiel, “Welcome to Simon’s Sex Emporeum, where it’s our pleasure to pleasure you.” Simon didn’t actually look up until he heard the person clear their throat, and boy was he not prepared for what he would see. Before him was a beautiful man, with gorgeous blonde hair, the face of an angel and the physique that looked like it was sculpted by gods.
Relationships: Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Series: Malec Discord Advent Calendar 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035975
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	The One Where Simon Makes Jace Blush

**Author's Note:**

> Well, we have made it through 1 WHOLE WEEK OF JIMON. Also how a crack fic about Jace walking into a sex shop rounded out the week with a whopping 897 words... I have no idea. The plot bunnies just got away from me.

Simon was engrossed in the most recent issue of the Deadpool comics when the bells above the door alerted to a customer coming through the door.

Without looking up from his comic Simon said his normal spiel, “Welcome to Simon’s Sex Emporeum, where it’s our pleasure to pleasure you.” Simon didn’t actually look up until he heard the person clear their throat, and boy was he not prepared for what he would see. Before him was a _ beautiful _ man, with gorgeous blonde hair, the face of an angel and the physique that looked like it was sculpted by gods.

He was pulled out of his admiring session by the man clearing his throat again, “Sorry, I’m Simon, how can I help you today--” Simon tilted his head as though to ask the customer's name.

“Uhhh, Jace, it’s Jace. Umm I’m here for a sort of a gag gift for my brother who I got for secret santa.”

“Hmmmm and did you have anything for this brother of yours?” Simon asked, getting up from his stool behind the counter.

“Ummm well I was thinking like a bright pink dildo maybe?” He said like he was asking a question, the blush spreading from his cheeks down to his neck.

“Well we definitely have those, follow me to the wall of cocks.” Jace coughed a bit, when he said that. “So what kind of dildo are we thinking of? Do we want one of our monster 10 inch cock or like a more modest 6 inch one?”

“Ummm I don’t really have a price range, but probably something a little bit more modest.”

“Okay, so maybe this six inch cock is the one to go with.” Simon said holding the dildo so that Jace could have a feel.

“Uhhh, I’m good. I think I’ll take that.”

“Can I help you find anything else Jace? Maybe something for yourself perhaps?”

“Uhh, umm” Jace fell over his words, and Simon thought it was the most endearing thing. “I’ve never gotten any--” he looked around the room, “toys for myself.”

“Well now's as good a time as any to start. If you follow me,” Simon walks over to their beginner butt play section, “If you are looking to get into a bit of butt play yourself this is a good section to start with. And there is no need to be embarrassed, if you’ve thought about it before, it is completely normal even for heterosexual couples to dabble in anal stimulation.”

Simon hears Jace mumble to himself, but can’t quite hear. “Sorry I didn’t quite get that, you’re going to have to repeat it.” 

“Uh, I’m bi actually.” Jace said, scratching his hair at the nape of his neck. Simon was definitely filling that info away for later. “And I’ve definitely thought about it, just haven’t you know had the balls to go out and get one. Pardon my bad joke.”

“Oh we love bad sex puns here. Why don’t I go put this dildo on the counter while you browse these.” Simon was gone and back in a flash, and Jace looked just as flustered as he was when they started here. “Okay, so there are some butt plugs here, which are always a good place to start, they aren’t super large, which is great for beginners. You also have the option of vibrations if you are wanting that down the line, and best of all you can leave them in for an extended period of time if you are feeling frisky.” Simon wiggled his eyebrows, earning a timid laugh from the other man. “What do you think?”

“You know what that all sounds great. I think I will get that one you were showing me.” Jace said, pointing at the beginner plug.

“And don’t forget some lube, this one is a water-based lube and definitely the best for your silicone based toy.” 

“Yeah, I’ll take that too.” Jace was still definitely out of his element, but he was starting to warm up to Simon and vast knowledge of sex toys and Simon found that incredibly endearing.

“Perfect I’ll ring that all up for you.” He walked behind the counter and punched the toys in the POS system. “And don’t forget to register the toy for the warranty when you get home.”

“Sex toys have warranties?”

“Oh, of course.” Simon put all of the purchases into the bag, took the receipt and quickly scrawled a number on the bottom. “If you have any questions, feel free to text or call me.” Simon sent a wink while he passed him his purchases.

“Do you give all your customers your number? Jace asked, looking at the receipt.

“No, just the really cute ones. Well actually this is a first, but that’s besides the point.” Jace laughed, leaving the store before he turned around and stopped.

“Did you give me a discount?” Jace asked.

“Oh yeah, it was my own bogo sale, buy one get one 69% off, much better than 50 am I right?” Jace just laughed as opened the door and left the store. Once the bells rang again signifying the store was empty, Simon sank back into his chair, a little bit exhausted from the interaction. Usually he wasn’t that forward, but he definitely hoped that Jace would reach out because he was definitely someone Simon wanted to get to know better.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the writing event Advent Calendar on the [Malec Discord Server](discord.gg/GY8jT4x)! Please come join us, we would love to have you there!


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